Total Bat-Sanity: The Bat Family’s Weirdest Moments


You guys have seen Batman Ninja by now, haven’t you? You know, the loopy collaboration between DC, Warner Bros. Japan and Warner Bros. Home Entertainment that involves us care of a trio of anime powerhouses. You’ve seen it, proper? If not, drop what you’re doing and exit and seize your self a replica proper the heck now. I don’t care when you’re a priest administering confession or a mind surgeon working on a tumor, IT CAN WAIT. You want to see this film. (I’m joking, in fact. Don’t go leaving any surgical procedure sufferers on the desk. Especially since you possibly can simply obtain a digital copy and hey, you clearly have some mad multitasking expertise in the event you’re studying this text whereas performing main surgical procedure.)

So, what’s so superb about this film? Well, in Batman Ninja, the Bat-family is shipped spiraling out of time and area by Gorilla Grodd and into an alternate feudal Japan the place a few of Gotham’s nastiest villains are reigning supreme. Oh, and there are big robots, armies of literal bats, Alfred with a ponytail, a completely random Bane look as a sumo wrestler, so many monkeys…and that is all earlier than we get into spoiler territory. Basically, think about a Batman film conceived by somebody who hasn’t slept in about eight days and as an alternative spent that point chugging power drinks and binging Tarantino, Pacific Rim, Naruto and the prologue sequence in 2001: A Space Odyssey and also you’re beginning to get the overall concept.

And but, what we comedian followers need to acknowledge is that Batman Ninja isn’t even a lot of an anomaly with all of its craziness. Maybe on the film aspect of issues, positive. But the comics are totally different. Batman has been round on the comedian web page for a very very long time, and over his years, he and his comrades have discovered themselves in some fairly nutty conditions. Maybe not fairly as loopy as main a squadron of armored simians towards an enormous sword-wielding Joker robotic (critically, SEE this film), however undoubtedly up there. So, within the spirit of the soon-to-be-classic Batman Ninja, let’s have a look again at a number of the weirdest, wildest and most weird Bat-family comedian ebook moments.
 

March of the Rainbow Batmen

We’re all prepared to do quite a bit in terms of defending the individuals we care about. For Batman, more often than not meaning intimidating wrongdoers, pulling week-long all-nighters to research instances, or monitoring criminals everywhere in the globe in private Bat-shaped jets. (By the best way, do you assume actual bats worship these jets as deities? I’ve all the time questioned that. It might be the actual purpose there are such a lot of bats within the batcave. Or perhaps they inform their youngsters scary tales at night time concerning the planes to get them to behave? “You’d better finish all your food or the Gotham City Screaming Monster Bat will get you!”)

Other occasions for Batman, defending individuals has meant dressing up in an entire rainbow of various coloured batsuits simply to attract consideration away from his younger ward.

In DETECTIVE COMICS #241, again in 1957, Dick Grayson was scorching on the path of a legal, however injured his arm within the course of. So, Bruce naturally did what anybody would do who has satisfied himself that dressing up like a bat and going out to struggle harmful criminals with a child was an inexpensive profession path in life—he started to run interference by rotating by way of an entire roster of technicolor costumes. It was all within the identify of creating positive nobody actually observed that Dick had an injured arm whereas he labored as a result of…that makes much more sense than giving your baby associate the night time off, proper? I imply, what else was he going to do with that point? Homework?
 

The Ghost of Benedict Arnold

It’s fairly exhausting to out-weird Gotham City’s villain inhabitants, however there are undoubtedly methods to get the job achieved. For instance, take that point Dick and Barbara have been pressured to battle the precise, literal ghost of Benedict Arnold, who turned out to be despatched to the land of the dwelling by the precise, literal satan himself.

No, actually. I am not making that up and I am not being hyperbolic. That’s it, that is the story. It occurred in BATMAN FAMILY #1 again in 1975. While in Washington D.C., Robin and Batgirl got here nose to nose with the notorious traitor and have been pressured to struggle him in entrance of a few of America’s most beloved historic monuments. Parts of it even occurred on nationwide tv. How watching a ghost from the Revolutionary War struggle Batman’s sidekicks did not begin a nationwide panic (or perhaps a brand new actuality collection) is anyone’s guess. I assume even by 1975 the great individuals of the DC Universe had already seen all of it.

But I do know what you’re actually considering. Why did the satan ship him again to Earth within the first place? Well, let’s be actual. If you have been the satan, would you need Benedict Arnold round? When you run a spot staffed with monsters, demons and probably the most vile, evil individuals ever to have walked the planet, you kinda have to know who you’ll be able to belief, and that’s undoubtedly not previous Benny. The satan in all probability figured Benedict would both succeed and take over the Earth, or else he’d get his butt kicked by some random superheroes and wind up again in hell, which might assist humble him and hold him in line.

Yeah, I do know it’s type of a screwy plan, however this can be a man who determined to go away hell ultimately himself in order that he might run a bar and attempt to assist the police clear up crimes. He isn’t precisely recognized for doing issues that make sense.
 

Enter the Bat-Mite

Okay this one is much less a single occasion and extra an entire collection of them, however we’re nonetheless going to rely ’em. Back in the course of the Silver Age when comics have been getting stranger and stranger by the day, a development emerged the place superheroes have been made to “fight” (or, actually, simply…tolerate) impish, extra-dimensional pranksters. For Superman, that was Mr. Mxyzptlk and for Batman, it was Bat-Mite.

Introduced again in 1959 with DETECTIVE COMICS #267, Bat-Mite was…nicely, Bat-Mite. A creature from the “Mite Dimension” who sort of appeared like Batman and liked to usually make a nuisance of himself by warping actuality and popping out and in of existence every time he so selected. He even broke the fourth wall a time or two, and had a narrative the place he actually went to the DC workplaces and demanded his personal function. And as nutty as that sounds, the really crazy thing was that it worked.

Bat-Cow Saves the Day

Damian Wayne is understood for lots of issues—his talent with a sword, his coaching with the League of Assassins, being the son of the Batman—however that solely scratches the floor on who younger Robin truly is. Underneath all of the almost-murder and the sneering, Damian is a soft-hearted child who simply so occurs to actually, actually love animals.

Maybe that is not all that uncommon for a preteen child, however when your dad is billionaire Bruce Wayne and you have got entry to know-how that makes touring everywhere in the world completely attainable, it means you’ll be able to amass fairly the gathering of furry pals. One such member of Damian’s menagerie is the venerable Bat-Cow who…is a cow, with a bat-shaped marking close to her rump.

This signifies that the Dark Knight needed to truly spend time and assets which will have gone to stopping the Joker, Two-Face or Bane from terrorizing Gotham to as an alternative construct and set up a cow pen someplace within the batcave, making certain that the whole factor now smells like musty cow patties, and all as a result of he was too mushy to inform his son that “No, he can’t have a freaking cow as a pet!” So, we will’t actually really feel all that sorry for Batman that he has now lastly managed to out-ridiculous Superman and Wonder Woman in relation to animal sidekicks. Beppo the Super-Monkey and Jumpa the Wonder Kangaroo appear downright regular as compared.

So, what does Bat-Cow do in addition to make Batman need to apologize for the odor each time somebody visits the cave? Well, you possibly can see her in motion in BATMAN INCORPORATED SPECIAL #1. She wears a cape and every part.

Welcome to Zur-En-Arrh

If you are a reasonably trendy Batman fan, the identify “Zur-En-Arrh” in all probability makes you consider the mind-bending BATMAN R.I.P., the place the identify itself turned a type of post-hypnotic set off phrase for Bruce to overlook his personal id (should you haven’t learn it, all you need to know is that Batman R.I.P. was a Grant Morrison storyline and that ought to clarify all the things). But what you might not know is that Zur-En-Arrh is definitely a relic of Batman historical past courting all the best way again to BATMAN #113 in 1958.

In the unique story, Zur-En-Arrh was an alien planet that Bruce discovered himself transported to the place he got here nose to nose with a person (creature?) named Tlano who needed to develop into the Batman of Zur-En-Arrh. He even made himself a fancy dress full together with his personal slightly-distorted model of the Bat image.

Now, that’s bizarre as a result of presumably, as an alien society, the individuals on Zur-En-Arrh wouldn’t know what the heck a bat even was. So quite than being a logo that may strike worry within the hearts of males, Tlano would simply be dressed up in what appeared like an enormous onesie, which, sure, would in all probability freak individuals out. But unlikely for the explanations he meant.

Not that Bruce was inclined to level that out to him since whereas on Zur-En-Arrh, he found that he had Superman-like metahuman talents. So, whereas Tlano is turning into the Batman of Zur-En-Arrh, Batman is turning into the Superman of Zur-En-Arrh, and we’re simply turning into confused as to why Bruce is in outer area partaking in bizarre superhero roleplaying as an alternative of in Gotham saving everybody from the Riddler or Penguin.

Flight of the Joker Dragons

Okay, okay, lots of you already find out about this one. But simply because it’s present doesn’t imply that it’s not completely bonkers insane. I imply, that was just about the purpose of DARK NIGHTS: METAL, proper?

For these of you who haven’t learn it, Bruce uncovers the horrible secret of the Dark Multiverse—a daunting, alternate Multiverse that lives “beneath” ours—and inadvertently triggers a sequence of occasions that sends him spiraling by way of dozens of horrific variations on his personal existence. He’s a literal knight, a monstrous speedster, the avatar of conflict, a lady who lives underwater…look, simply go together with it. The Joker is all over the place (and nowhere) directly. Starro exhibits up for some time. Hawkman is a big monster. Batman makes use of child Darkseid as a weapon.

It’s nuts in one of the simplest ways potential. It’s badass. It’s getting a heavy metallic soundtrack. And if all of this isn’t sufficient to entice you, it has Joker Dragons.

JOKER. DRAGONS. Giant ones!

In reality, Batman even punches one within the face. And then rides it into battle sporting silver armor whereas shouting, “Hee-yah!”

The level is, the Bat-family’s weirdest and most fantastic tales are something however a factor of the previous, and although the years might have modified the Dark Knight and his workforce in a variety of methods, making them much less vulnerable to absurdity is not considered one of them. In reality, most of the time, it is that absurdity that retains us coming again for extra.
 

Meg Downey writes concerning the DC Universe for DCComics.com and covers DC’s Legends of Tomorrow for the #DCTV Couch Club. Follow her on Twitter at @rustypolished.





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